As I complete 25
years of my age and stand at that point of life where a new beginning awaits
me, I try to look ahead and question myself, Am I all set for this new
responsibility? Am I capable of looking after myself, my parents, my extended
family members and most of all, a person who is supposed to be my priority and
with whom my life will be intricately linked henceforth? Do I understand the
true meaning of marriage?
Planning to get
married and being successful in choosing the right person (there is nothing as
the right person though and its all subjective) has a lot of difference. Quite
similarly, having an affair, spending loads of time or even being intimate is a
lot different from imagining your life with someone, planning ahead for the
future keeping both of your interests in mind.
Being quite an
observer and rather speculative by nature, I have seen very successful
marriages, the not so happy ones and even those that would make the very idea
of marriage nightmarish. Well, with all my optimism about the existence of true
love and lasting relationships and the insights I have gathered from here and
there, I would say that marriage is worth giving a shot for sure. If it works
out, you are guaranteed with a lifetime of bliss that equals to all the
pleasures in the world.
I might sound
immature and quite a lay (wo)man but for me, marriage is a delicious recipe,
the taste of which stays only if the ingredients are all present and in right
amount.
Firstly, it is
better not to expect your partner to value you if you do not present yourself
as being worthy of his/her love, affection and attention. So, love yourself
always.
Be independent
not just in terms of money but in words, thoughts and actions. Marriage, these
days, is mutually inclusive which requires each partner to support the other.
Be sorted out yourself so that you can give your suggestions, advice and inputs
to your partner. There should be no situation in which both falls weak and nor
should there be just one partner who will always have to stand strong.
Who says
arranged marriages lack love? Not being biased at all and with experiences of
having an affair as well as dating someone in an arranged framework, I would
say that the latter is way stronger and more mature. True, love takes time but
it does happen in different ways. Mental compatibility, connection, sharing,
adjustments, respect, trust and a lot of other things make the union more
cherished. If marriages are made in heaven and if at all love is all about
actions and not expressing emotions, an arranged marriage is perhaps the
perfect example.
It is often very
easy to say that giving space is necessary but very difficult to execute. There
are no rules to be followed and no strategies to be devised. Just remember that
individuality and independence are must. Anything that curbs your growth as an
individual or stops you from developing further is simply not worth having, be
it a marriage or anything else.
If all these are
supposed to be the ingredients of a recipe called marriage, physical
attractiveness and intimacy is certainly the salt. Consistently trying to be
more attractive and accommodating the likes and dislikes of your partner is
just another way of self development which also adds spice to the union,
allowing it to rise from the mundane to that much desired one. This is as much
justifiable for men as for women as women might be less visual than men but
their eyes loiter around no less. Well, spicy foods are perhaps a bit more
preferred by women than men so....
Phew! Much said
about marriage and stuff. Avoiding pessimism, a glaring issue of the coming of
a third person in either of the partner’s life bothers many. Remember, we can
get us something, treasure it, value it above everything and show it all our
love. Now, whether it falls off itself or gets affected by the slightest blow
of wind or a collision from outside is out of our control. Doubts and
suspiciousness will never prevent this blowing off or collision from taking
place.
Not all
relationships in the world are supposed to last a lifetime nor are they under
our control. All that we can do and must try to do is cook a recipe, the taste
of which lasts long and refuses to leave the taste buds even when other recipes
are available. Sounds weird perhaps but marriage is indeed the belief in the
possibility of falling in love with the same person each time and all over
again. (Belief in the possibility till it becomes actually possible :))
One last thing
for those whose patience has been tried and tested by now, there is no age, no
time, no binding to get married. Marriage is good, its important, its worth
treasuring and its worth fighting for but it is not the be all and end all of
life and it never will be so. Listen to your heart and wait for the right
person to come..All the best folks!!!
